I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
