u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
