I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
