im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
