I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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