i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
