What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
