Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Blood and glitter go together right?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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