Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My life is pants optional.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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