she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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