im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
