Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
