You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
