Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
