She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
