everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
