I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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