If that was your dad, he is hot
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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