I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
