I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
