Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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