My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
