bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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