you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
