Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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