Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
