Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
