Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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