I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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