me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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