Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
