so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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