So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
