friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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