party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
