why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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