so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
