Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
