She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
