so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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