Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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