Come see our sink grown plant.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
