Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
