its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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