Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize