That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
