i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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