thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
