It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
