one might say we're banned from that church
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
