I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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